


Empty

by firepoppyqueen



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28390491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firepoppyqueen/pseuds/firepoppyqueen
Summary: You just split with your boyfriend of 5 years and you are still feeling the effects of it. You question your life and search for answers on how to get over him.
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Empty

Is it normal to feel like this? To feel dead inside after the person you dedicate your life to walks out on you? How do you process that? How do you get over that? How can you breathe again?

You’re sitting outside at a table in front of your favorite coffee shop, forcing yourself to drink the cappuccino you just ordered. The smell makes you nauseous but you make yourself drink it, to give you the energy that you need to get through the day. You take a small bite of your muffin and chew slowly, trying to ignore that deep pit in your stomach that makes you want to throw up. You look around and observe your environment, watching the auburn colored leaves fall to the ground and the chilly wind kiss your face softly. You should be inside and you know that this is the fastest way to catch the flu. But you don’t care and you haven’t cared about much since he’s been gone.

You had been with your boyfriend Mark for 5 years, meeting in highschool and then later on being college sweethearts. He was your first kiss, your first love, and your first sexual experience. You were nervous when you had sex for the first time but he was gentle and made you feel comfortable, and you fell deeper in love with him. Eventually the discomfort stopped and you wanted sex with him all the time and he had no problem obliging. It didn’t matter where you were; you loved the thrill of fucking him whenever you wanted and knowing that you could have him at anytime. You loved him too, willing to move hours away from your family and friends to move to the big city where his job was and you stayed at home and took care of the house while finishing online classes. Every work event that he had you were there for, and you bent over backwards to make sure he was happy and that he never wanted for anything. You made him comfortable to be himself and to share his darkest secrets with you. You never judged him and you fell deeper in love with him. He was your soulmate.

Once you graduated from college you found a job at an advertising firm in the city and even though you weren’t as available anymore you still made time for him. But you noticed things were changing. His affection for you little by little started to decrease and eventually he quit touching you at all, aside from a quick peck on the lips. You loved sex and you loved him, but you had to practically beg him to touch you. You start to notice his phone was going off all the time and his once open phone had a password on it. You tried to shrug it off like it wasn’t a big deal but you started to have this dread more and more each day. It pissed you off that he was being so closed in and secretive and you were determined to get that spark back into your relationship.

One day you decided to surprise him at his job for a rendezvous. You wore a classy blouse and skirt ensemble with a see through lace garter belt underneath that you are sure he is going to love. You were nervous, even though you had been to his job thousands of times and you just wanted to get things back to normal with him. So you strutted into his office building confidently; you don’t notice that the employees there started to whisper and divert their eyes to his office door. You did however notice that his secretary that’s usually at her desk was not there. You think nothing of it until you go inside to the shock of your life: the secretary was on top of Mark, straddling him roughly and moaning his name into his ear. His head was burrowed into her neck, panting as she grinds on him roughly. A wave of emotions washes over you as you stand there in a moment of shock, not believing what you are seeing. You quickly come out of that state and grab your phone, turning on the camera and recording a few minutes of the act in front of you before clearing your throat, making your presence known. 

“Oh shit, Y/N,” Mark shouts pushing his secretary off of him. “Baby it's not what it looks like—”

“No?” You cut him off stepping closer to him. “It looks like your secretary is fucking you at your place of work Mark.”

You stopped recording and placed the phone in your purse and noticed that his secretary was trying to find her shirt, which just happened to be by your foot. You picked up the shirt and threw it outside the office door, forcing her to retrieve it with just her bra on. By then a small crowd gathered outside the door and he quickly went and locked the door, now facing you and your anger. 

“What the fuck Mark?!” You screamed at him. “Is this how you treat your significant other of 5 years?”

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” Mark stated holding his hands up.

“How long has this been going on?”

“It has been long—”

“GIVE ME A FUCKING TIME MARK.”

He paused and slumped down on his office sofa, looking utterly defeated.

“6 months,” he responds after a brief silence.

You feel the air being knocked out of your chest and you start wheezing, struggling to get into your purse and grab your inhaler. Mark jumps up and takes your inhaler out of your purse and pumps it into you until you feel like you can breathe again.You hate in this moment that it was him that took your breath away and gave it right back. You are madly in love with him still and reality sets in on what he’s done.

“Why? Why would you do this to me? Am I not good enough for you? Why can’t you just be happy with me?”

You asked him these things with tears flooding out of your eyes as you choked on every other word trying to get through this anguish.

“I.. was bored. I am bored. I feel like I am stuck in this routine and I wanted to feel that thrill, the excitement again.”  
You stood there bewildered, not believing what you were hearing. 

“Mark I have tried to do different things with you and we did have an active sex life up until recently. You wouldn’t even touch me unless I begged.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while. He just stands there pacing back and forth while you sob into your hands.

“ I think.. We need a break.”

You look up at him and see red and it was taking every urge to not hit him. Instead you get up, straighten your clothes and leave his office, walking through the small crowd that tried to act like nothing was happening. You somehow make it home in one piece and calmly shut the door. You grab suitcases and grab your belongings, not wanting to be in the house anymore that you shared with the man that broke your heart. You leave the key on the counter and turn the a/c to 50 degrees so he can feel the chill in his bones that you have placed there for hurting you like this. You walk out the door and don’t look back, leaving your heart and emotions behind as well.

That was 5 months ago and you hoped that this ache would go away. You hoped that somehow he would come to his senses and he would run back to you and tell you how much he missed you and how much he was going to do right by you . But you never got anything, not even a text wondering how you were holding up after all this time. His last parting gift to you came as a surprise a couple months ago when you found out you were pregnant. But how do you tell the person that robbed you of joy and happiness that he was rewarded for his thievery by putting a baby in you? How can you properly love this little being growing inside of you when you don’t have any love for yourself? How can you breathe without him? How can he just move on and live his life and not care about the people he hurt? Why do you still fucking care? Why can’t you move on?

These are thoughts that you have daily and you always come up short for answers, not sure really how to handle this. You know you are going to be a single mom and you have made your peace with that, but the feelings still remain. The hurt still remains. The bleeding of love still pours out of you. 

How do you look at the sun and feel warm again? How can you breathe again without feeling a sharp pain pulsate through your chest? How do you sleep again? Most importantly, how can you live again?


End file.
